Requiem for a Deli
This is not necessarily a hate-on-Knoxville post. It's more about nostalgia. Happy memories and a longing for them. For what does my heart yearn?
Delis.
Now... many of you will say "Knoxville has Delis". Sure there's Jason's Deli. And Schlotzky's Deli. And Nixon's deli.
But let's not even go there.
Suffice to say - those are not delis. They are franchise eateries masquerading as Delis, much in the way Olive Garden pretends to be Italian.
A real deli, the kind I miss, is a completely different experience which I've come to realize is largely a Northeastern thing. A 'real deli' (I promise that's the last time I'll use that snobby phrase.. in this post) is many things. It's a take-out restaurant. It's a grocery store. It's an over the counter pharmacy. It's a newsstand. It's florist. Sometimes it's a home goods store.
First, the food. The deli is an essential part of many people's morning routine. Coffee is a given for almost anyone who walks in the door. Most of the time the deli staff will know you and know how you like your coffee, so instead of ordering, you just say good morning and your coffee is there how you like it in seconds. It often comes in this blue cup:
Then the choice of Breakfast meal. One of the most common is the 'breakfast sandwich', which consists of a egg, bacon, and cheese either on a deli roll, bagel, or biyali, wrapped up in a piece of wax paper and tin foil. How I miss the the Bacon and Egg on a real roll! Healthy? No. Gourmet? Hell No. Delicious? Hell yes!
For lunch, delis serve both hot and cold food. On the cold side, it's usually a deli sandwich - tons of meat, shredded lettuce, tomato, cheese, and either mustard or mayo on a roll. There's also always potato salad, macaroni salad, cole slaw, pasta salad, anti pasta, and 10 other prepared things like that.
For hot food - tons of choices. BLT's, Grilled Cheese, or Chicken or Meatball parm wedges (a.k.a subs, or heros, or whatever you want to call them). Hot roast beef, hamburgers, hotdogs - all of it cooked on the same greasy grill that gets cleaned every 15 minutes, but sees 15 orders in that time. Which raises another point:
At peak breakfast or lunch time, the intensity of activity at a deli is insane. Like the final minutes of a horse race that you have $10,000 on insane. There will usually be a minimum of four people working there. One person at the register ringing up a ton of orders and handling all the people buying a drink or the paper. Two people taking and processing orders from customers at an unbelievable speed. And one guy working the grill like an air traffic controller. At any one time they will have between 5 and 10 orders in play nonstop for an hour in the morning, and an hour at lunch. In each hour they'll take 40 to 50 orders, almost one a minute. The line is usually a briskly moving 8 people long. You can expect your in and out time to be about 6 minutes.
It's this climate that breeds misunderstanding about the niceness, politeness, and community of New Yorkers. In this world, politeness is measured in respect for people's time. Do the math. 8 people in line. 6 minute turn-around time. And a key thing to point out - the 'menu' has a very wide variety and almost everything is cooked or made to order. For this high intensity high volume machine to work - everyone that's a part of it needs to play their part correctly.
As a customer you have certain responsibilities:
- Know exactly what you want before you step to that counter
- Have your money ready.
- Ask no questions.
- If you ask one, ask one, and make sure you frame it so they can answer as quickly as possible
- Respect the line, and keep it orderly
- Speak up when ordering
- Pay attention to the staff and be ready to get your stuff and pay the instant it's ready.
- Keep other members of the herd - especially your family and friends - in line with these rule, firmly.
As a member of the deli staff, you also have responsibilities:
- Enforce all the customer rules listed above, firmly.
- Don't mess up the order - ever
- Be very good with quick math and process change almost instantly making no mistakes - ever
- Maintain the quality and consistency of the food (BLT on Mon. needs to be the same on Tues.)
- Don't be a total jerk
Now you might say "Um....that doesn't sound very nice". I'm not saying it is. It's neither nice or un-nice. It just is. Lots of people need stuff, the stuff they need is found in delis, there are a *ton* of people, and the above system meets the needs of the maximum number of people who each share a social responsibility with each other. That's it. I miss it for perhaps nothing more than familiarity.
All right. Enough of that. Back to 'what is a Deli'.
A deli is also a bank. Every one in creation has a portable ATM.
They will usually rob between $1.50 and $2.50 from you per transaction, which given their pervasiveness everywhere you go will end up taxing you pretty heavily, but that's the point - they're everywhere, in every deli (and gas station). That makes them reeeeealy convenient. And it's good for the economy! It's like the tax rebate except it doesn't rob all of us, it just robs you! Why? Because you take that money, and you spend it, often right there at that deli (it is after all why the deli owner has it there). You 'stimulate' the economy.
But that's just the beginning. Then that deli owner makes more money, which makes deli owning a profitable business, which results in what? More Delis! That's why in NYC, there's literally one on almost every block, and in the suburban towns, there are always at least 4 or 5 per town - for hundreds of miles in every direction! All conveniently addressing all of your needs, cost and time effectively.
Anyway.... ATM's. Handy. You gotta love the cash. Next - the Deli is your newsstand.
Every deli has a magazine rack. You know like how you see in the supermarket? Like that. They'll carry the four papers - The New York Times (thick but prestigious), the Post (trash - but good sports), and the Daily News (trash), and whatever the local Gannett regional or county paper (fairly good). Then all the magazines - celebrity and gossip magazines, "Men" magazines (sports, and outdoors, and guns, RAR!), "Women" magazines (Vogue, Cosmo, etc.), "Girl" magazines (Seventeen, Mademoiselle, and the like), and many more.
A deli is also a florist. For some reason flowers are super cheap in New York. It's like oil in Saudi Arabia. Almost every deli in the suburbs and *every* one in the city has a big rack of fresh flowers delivered within the last 48 hours. They'll have roses in 6 different colors, all $1 each. Beyond that they'll have 10 other types of flowers, many in multiple varieties. You can get a thick bouquet of 5 fat baby tulips for $3.50. I'd usually grab three at least once a week for my wife. Once a month I'd grab 6 different bouquets, spend $30, and literally shower her with flowers. I don't think it's wrong to miss that!
All right - let's wrap this sucker up. I'm starting to bore myself.
Lastly - a deli is a grocery store, pharmacy, and sometimes home good store. From a grocery standpoint - picture the 'food essentials' selection they have at most gas stations - milk, eggs, butter, mac and cheese, mayo, bread, etc. Multiply that amount and variety of stuff 10x, and you'll have the grocery stock most delis carry, which is an incredible feat since most delis are *very* small. That means shelves packed so tight and high you can't even imagine. Again I'm not saying that's awesome. It just is.
The same system holds true for pharmacy supplies. Band aids, every over the counter medicine you can imagine, personal hygiene stuff for him and her, dental supplies, and more. They'll also have office supplies - stamps, envelopes, school supplies, paper, pends, folders, markers, crayons, etc. If they have room they'll include basic house goods - paper products, small appliances, small electronics, car supplies, socks, tools, board games - whatever.
I think the best way to describe it in Knoxville terms is to start with a Walgreens, combine it with a "Knoxville Deli" (but improve the food substantially), add a Weigls minus the gas, and finally a florist. Then cram it into a space the size of a small trailer, and have one ever 1000 yards.
Seems a funny thing to miss :)
Delis.
Now... many of you will say "Knoxville has Delis". Sure there's Jason's Deli. And Schlotzky's Deli. And Nixon's deli.
But let's not even go there.
Suffice to say - those are not delis. They are franchise eateries masquerading as Delis, much in the way Olive Garden pretends to be Italian.
A real deli, the kind I miss, is a completely different experience which I've come to realize is largely a Northeastern thing. A 'real deli' (I promise that's the last time I'll use that snobby phrase.. in this post) is many things. It's a take-out restaurant. It's a grocery store. It's an over the counter pharmacy. It's a newsstand. It's florist. Sometimes it's a home goods store.
First, the food. The deli is an essential part of many people's morning routine. Coffee is a given for almost anyone who walks in the door. Most of the time the deli staff will know you and know how you like your coffee, so instead of ordering, you just say good morning and your coffee is there how you like it in seconds. It often comes in this blue cup:
Then the choice of Breakfast meal. One of the most common is the 'breakfast sandwich', which consists of a egg, bacon, and cheese either on a deli roll, bagel, or biyali, wrapped up in a piece of wax paper and tin foil. How I miss the the Bacon and Egg on a real roll! Healthy? No. Gourmet? Hell No. Delicious? Hell yes!
For lunch, delis serve both hot and cold food. On the cold side, it's usually a deli sandwich - tons of meat, shredded lettuce, tomato, cheese, and either mustard or mayo on a roll. There's also always potato salad, macaroni salad, cole slaw, pasta salad, anti pasta, and 10 other prepared things like that.
For hot food - tons of choices. BLT's, Grilled Cheese, or Chicken or Meatball parm wedges (a.k.a subs, or heros, or whatever you want to call them). Hot roast beef, hamburgers, hotdogs - all of it cooked on the same greasy grill that gets cleaned every 15 minutes, but sees 15 orders in that time. Which raises another point:
At peak breakfast or lunch time, the intensity of activity at a deli is insane. Like the final minutes of a horse race that you have $10,000 on insane. There will usually be a minimum of four people working there. One person at the register ringing up a ton of orders and handling all the people buying a drink or the paper. Two people taking and processing orders from customers at an unbelievable speed. And one guy working the grill like an air traffic controller. At any one time they will have between 5 and 10 orders in play nonstop for an hour in the morning, and an hour at lunch. In each hour they'll take 40 to 50 orders, almost one a minute. The line is usually a briskly moving 8 people long. You can expect your in and out time to be about 6 minutes.
It's this climate that breeds misunderstanding about the niceness, politeness, and community of New Yorkers. In this world, politeness is measured in respect for people's time. Do the math. 8 people in line. 6 minute turn-around time. And a key thing to point out - the 'menu' has a very wide variety and almost everything is cooked or made to order. For this high intensity high volume machine to work - everyone that's a part of it needs to play their part correctly.
As a customer you have certain responsibilities:
- Know exactly what you want before you step to that counter
- Have your money ready.
- Ask no questions.
- If you ask one, ask one, and make sure you frame it so they can answer as quickly as possible
- Respect the line, and keep it orderly
- Speak up when ordering
- Pay attention to the staff and be ready to get your stuff and pay the instant it's ready.
- Keep other members of the herd - especially your family and friends - in line with these rule, firmly.
As a member of the deli staff, you also have responsibilities:
- Enforce all the customer rules listed above, firmly.
- Don't mess up the order - ever
- Be very good with quick math and process change almost instantly making no mistakes - ever
- Maintain the quality and consistency of the food (BLT on Mon. needs to be the same on Tues.)
- Don't be a total jerk
Now you might say "Um....that doesn't sound very nice". I'm not saying it is. It's neither nice or un-nice. It just is. Lots of people need stuff, the stuff they need is found in delis, there are a *ton* of people, and the above system meets the needs of the maximum number of people who each share a social responsibility with each other. That's it. I miss it for perhaps nothing more than familiarity.
All right. Enough of that. Back to 'what is a Deli'.
A deli is also a bank. Every one in creation has a portable ATM.
They will usually rob between $1.50 and $2.50 from you per transaction, which given their pervasiveness everywhere you go will end up taxing you pretty heavily, but that's the point - they're everywhere, in every deli (and gas station). That makes them reeeeealy convenient. And it's good for the economy! It's like the tax rebate except it doesn't rob all of us, it just robs you! Why? Because you take that money, and you spend it, often right there at that deli (it is after all why the deli owner has it there). You 'stimulate' the economy.
But that's just the beginning. Then that deli owner makes more money, which makes deli owning a profitable business, which results in what? More Delis! That's why in NYC, there's literally one on almost every block, and in the suburban towns, there are always at least 4 or 5 per town - for hundreds of miles in every direction! All conveniently addressing all of your needs, cost and time effectively.
Anyway.... ATM's. Handy. You gotta love the cash. Next - the Deli is your newsstand.
Every deli has a magazine rack. You know like how you see in the supermarket? Like that. They'll carry the four papers - The New York Times (thick but prestigious), the Post (trash - but good sports), and the Daily News (trash), and whatever the local Gannett regional or county paper (fairly good). Then all the magazines - celebrity and gossip magazines, "Men" magazines (sports, and outdoors, and guns, RAR!), "Women" magazines (Vogue, Cosmo, etc.), "Girl" magazines (Seventeen, Mademoiselle, and the like), and many more.
A deli is also a florist. For some reason flowers are super cheap in New York. It's like oil in Saudi Arabia. Almost every deli in the suburbs and *every* one in the city has a big rack of fresh flowers delivered within the last 48 hours. They'll have roses in 6 different colors, all $1 each. Beyond that they'll have 10 other types of flowers, many in multiple varieties. You can get a thick bouquet of 5 fat baby tulips for $3.50. I'd usually grab three at least once a week for my wife. Once a month I'd grab 6 different bouquets, spend $30, and literally shower her with flowers. I don't think it's wrong to miss that!
All right - let's wrap this sucker up. I'm starting to bore myself.
Lastly - a deli is a grocery store, pharmacy, and sometimes home good store. From a grocery standpoint - picture the 'food essentials' selection they have at most gas stations - milk, eggs, butter, mac and cheese, mayo, bread, etc. Multiply that amount and variety of stuff 10x, and you'll have the grocery stock most delis carry, which is an incredible feat since most delis are *very* small. That means shelves packed so tight and high you can't even imagine. Again I'm not saying that's awesome. It just is.
The same system holds true for pharmacy supplies. Band aids, every over the counter medicine you can imagine, personal hygiene stuff for him and her, dental supplies, and more. They'll also have office supplies - stamps, envelopes, school supplies, paper, pends, folders, markers, crayons, etc. If they have room they'll include basic house goods - paper products, small appliances, small electronics, car supplies, socks, tools, board games - whatever.
I think the best way to describe it in Knoxville terms is to start with a Walgreens, combine it with a "Knoxville Deli" (but improve the food substantially), add a Weigls minus the gas, and finally a florist. Then cram it into a space the size of a small trailer, and have one ever 1000 yards.
Seems a funny thing to miss :)
posted by Knoxville Yankee at 8:52 AM - Permanent Link
3 Comments:
Nice definition of deli! I read your blogs all the time. I found your website when I moved to Knoxville last winter. I have since returned to NY. I could not believe at first that they had no actual delis there! I have to say though there is not many out where I live in the sticks of NY. There is like one in my whole town but I don't go to it because its pretty pricey.
There is one deli that is more of bagel store across the street from where I work. So they don't have anything extra to buy. Service is slow and they never make anything right. (from what I observed from other people ordering from them at work)
So for me living in this backwards town in NY (with no movie theater either!) I would move back to Knoxville in a heartbeat! :)
First of all, let me tell you how much I'll soon be missing the New York deli breakfast sandwich. But maybe to remind you about some of the perks of living in a place like Knoxville, I'll remind you of a good reason why people are glad to leave NYC:
Today it was raining. A lot. Umbrella jabs, wet subway seats, girls in $150 galoshes, the whole deal. Two stops into the morning ride, the entire R train is told there's a signal problem, and all trains are running on the local track. Two slow stops further on, there is a sick passenger on the train in front of you...and two hours later, you get to work for your 10 hour day.
I remember when I first moved here and went into nixens deli for the first time. As soon as I walked in, I thought to myself "what the hell is this?" So, I go about my business and order a snadwhich. As the guy is making it, I am looking around for the german potato salad, the jewish Knishes,etc. Nothing like that to be found. Actually, nothing in the whole place that has anything to do with a deli except for a few dried out looking cold cuts. Then the guy asks me if I wanted my sandwhich steamed. WTF is that all about? I laughed and said "No". Upon my first bite, I realized why he wanted to steam it. It sucked. The bread sucked, the meat sucked. The whole thing sucked, yet there was a line almost to the door of people getting steamed sandwhiches. I have since sworn off any place around here that misrepresents the word "deli". There is more meat on one "real deli" sandwhich than Nixons puts on a days worth.
In New York, a standard shopping center consists of these essential ingredients. Two bars, one OTB, one pizza place, one deli, one bagel place and one stationairy store. That's the formula for success and is not to be messed with. lol.
Thanks for posting the picture of the breakfast sandwhich. I miss the days of the "breakfast special". It was like $1.00 for the breakfast sandwhich and coffee.
I am glad you mentioned the rules with the first one being be ready when you get to the counter. The first time I took my wife back up to New York (she was born here) I took her to a bagel place one morning. I warned her to figure out what she wants and be ready when it was heer turn. She hesitated at the counter and within half a second, the girl behind the counter yells "next". It was hysterical.
That being said, Knoxville has improved in every way since I have been here with the exception of a deli. A good italian pork store would be nice too, but I know that is never going to happen. 90% of the people here wouldn't even know what it was. While we're at it, a bakery would be good too. Ahh..to dream.
Anyway, thanks for bringing back some good memories.
Paul
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